shrinkage

so counseling. I think about it, and a soft- voiced, glasses- wearing, hippy- esque, comfy chair- sitting shrink holding a box of kleenex comes to my mind. psychobabble. analysis. talking. talking. talking. dim lighting. warmth. soft music. ferns in pots. fishtanks. soothing. BUT!!!! pulling your mind to shreads! figuring yourself out! why is this so? and why is that that? this happened, what does it mean? talking talking talking!!! tears and anger. frustration and enlightenment! draining you. headaches! concentration. drowsiness. quizzes. tests. questions. inquiries.

oh to muse on couselling.

ps. my finger/ hand is much better.

pps. so.... i would agree in my discussion with luke that couselling is good. if not painful, but.. "good" to muddle things through. actually as i type this, i change my mind. couselling was very painful, and after a couple sessions i felt like the shit John Calvin describes humans as. but it was also good to figure myself out and discuss my troubles. but again.... the pain of that nearly nearly broke me apart. but i suppose i should be greatful for that "near death experience" and gain strencth from what i learned huh?

clearly i'm still muddling through it all.