such is the story

would you go to the very edge of a cliff and be that close to death just to call for help? it seems that that is a very natural response, and it is becoming easier and easier to justify that reasoning. because the trail to the cliff is hidden and can only be found by those to just happen upon it, and once on the trail it is steep treacherous and very difficult-- not something you want to be on alone, but the fact remains that you are alone. you are out of sight, you cannot be found unless you direct people to you. most often you do not know how exactly to call for help when they would not understand the place you're in. so it seems logical to go to someplace where for sure you would be seen. and here we find you at the edge of the cliff. visible. perilously close to an end where no one really does know the end. and no one really understands how you got to that place. and so even in being saved from the edge of the cliff, you are still left miserably misunderstood. misunderstood in every single of the most painful ways. misunderstood by others, but in a more gripping and tortuous manner, you misunderstand yourself. that fact alone is so scary, because you don't know whow to live with you. odd, but in this your own soul becomes a prisoner, and a stranger. who are you? lost. why? that is a question that should never be asked. so what do you do? bottle up everything and try your best to keep doing the normal, the mundane, the expected and ignore the fact that one slip could send you over the edge. one innocently small detail, and you explode like a volcano. and in turn, like the lava from a volcano, you destroy everything in your path, leaving nothing and noone untouched. but isn't that odd? that sick part of you, the stranger, wanted no one to be touched. to think that you weren't in fact on a different trail from the rest of everyone. but the desperate part of you, the intruded, the victim is calling out for help with its last breath of life.
now with bupropion, the tears will come. and depression will stay. horray for such a day as this. unfortunate that the God of comfort and love is nowhere to be found.