money means life?

i am so frustrated right now. (ha what's new eh?) but really. it seems life is all about money. you see- i'm to go to school, to be trained in something i love, and then i go out and get a job where i spend most of my life hopefully happy with that job, doing that thing i enjoyed that i was trained at in school. and then i make money. and then i am happy. i can pay bills, buy myself things, go places. i can pay for happiness left and right. what the hell is wrong with that???? ahhhhhhh i don't want that. there HAS to be more to life than a life chained under money. you see, i am becoming faced with all the fees there are. buy food, pay for water. pay for heat. buy a house. buy clothes. buy running shoes so i can stay fit and not mess my body up. buy healthy food so i won't mess my body up. pay taxes. pay rent. pay for health insurance. pay for contacts so i can see clearly. buy soap so i smell clean. buy shampoo and conditioner so my hair smells nice and clean. buy sunscreen so i can be protected from the sun. buy bug spray so i can be protected from bugs. socks for warm feet. oh gracious. and i have not even expanded to children yet. good GOD that will suck! how can you face your children with joy when they cost so much? how can living a life under all this money be worth it? oh and whilst you do all this drudging money making, you are supposed to think your job makes a difference for people, or that you are a good human being helping others out, and not living a selfish life. uuuuuugggggggggghhhhhhhhh. i DON'T want to be spent living this life knowing i hate this whole system of things, but dealing. i hate dealing. damn this is so juvenile of me to whine to this extent about this- i mean come on, i'm supposed to take up my yoke and responsibilities, smiling all the while, and feel good about my life. why the hell would i want to stick around this place if i would be faking it all the time? faking enjoyment. not even being able to enjoy camping knowing the amount of money spent to get me there to that prime spot in nature. or seeing an airplane way up there in the sky. ugh. i feel so immature right now. but i also feel.... like i won't ever get over these feelings. and now i am just repeating myself. and i am frustrated. and childish. and conflicted!!!