slush.

Well after the joy and happiness of the past month or so.... we come to me today. Sitting in front of my computer and eating banana chips. Watching another episode of LOST. not exercising. not doing anything proactive to help my head ache. not worrying about my side aching. and esepcially not talking to matt about what i am feeling.... in regards to "our future." but before i spoil the mood any further, i owe ya'll who read this and don't think that i give too many details. (like david does) another brief thought, i give those details for myself so i can remember them later on when i look back and read about this chapter in my life. so i can have a vivid picture of the happenings painted in my memory. so. without further ado..... here is the account of friday, february 15th, my first date with matthew deering.



I spent all day friday alternating between being nervous, excited, and apprehensive about the whole date thing. The girls in my hall were great, they were the ones that kept me excited. it was nice. BUT. aprehension and my old trick of over analyzing things really crept into play here and i began to wonder if in fact, this date business was a good idea. i mean come on! i just found a great guy, a fun friend, and based on what? a couple cuddle parties and whatnot I was apparently head over heels ready to go on dates with him? this also alludes to the pressure i felt that this first date meant somehow that there were bound to be more. just look at the two of us, and the fun we had together hanging out! and listen to me tell stories about my time spent with matt.... gracious even my name sounded good when mixed with his: "virginia deering" of course somehow the ginny doesn't work with it. and that's what bothered me. the fact that i was the little kid when around matt. the younger, less mature, less experienced one. i was boistrous, giddy, emotional, and.... scared. oh gracious. so. these are the negative things i felt leading up to the date.



I texted with collin a bit while stressing over what to wear (even though i had my outfit all planned out), and i had also been watching pride and prejudice all afternoon. both of those things helped me quell my nerves a bit until i felt pretty good as i decided that... we were two good friends who decied to go out to dinner. it doesn't imply anything, it doesn't mean we have to do it again, we are just heading out for a night on the town. besides. matt was paying. matt was driving. all i had to do was dress in a semi- formal fashion and meet him in the lounge at 6:30.



anyways. i showered and accidently started putting on "sensual amber" body lotion instead of my usual "wamr vanilla sugar". well. great. guess that started me off well. smelling sensual. awesome.... allright. so. my outfit was: my black ann taylor skirt that goes to my knees, a pair of spandex shortws underneath to combat the cold :), my white square neck t shirt from ann taylor with a salmon red tank top underneath. on top of it all i wore my tourquoise scarf, the stylish way, (not the wrap around the neck twice with two parts of the scarf hanging form either side of my neck) and for a coat, i wore my nice gap felty material pea coat thingy. the tan one. oh and i wore my black mary jane-esque shoes. i looked nice. i felt nice. seemed to be good. i was running a little late as i had to wait until mr darcy pulls the "mrs darcy" scene at the end of the movie, so i dried my hair underneath the hand dryer in the bathroom. this made my ears and cheeks really hot, so i was in a purpetual state of blushing. awesome...



i dash downstairs and happen upon matt when his back is turned and he is talking to some friends (my ra is one of them :)) i clear my throat in that manly way that i do, and he turns around..... and shoots me. nah! haha just kidding. nope. he asks if i'm ready, i say yeah (obviously) and we head out the door to his idling car outside of arend. (my dorm)



the ride over was not tense at all. no subjects of conflict came up as we discussed... intramurals and.... God knows what. but it was very easy going. BUT mattykins pulled the annoying question or rather statement, on me again. "i really don't know that much about you Ginny and i'd like to know more, so tell me about you" (fuck i thought..... i hate this question. it's annoying, and i never know how to answer it.) i told him that was a very broad question.... and that he should narrow it down. i guess he did because there are no other moments of irritance during the car ride that stick out to me. (funny that all i seem to remember are those moments of intense emotion? like irritation, frustration, happiness, etc?)



we get to downtown, and i begin looking around for restaurants. we clearly slow down and matt starts looking for a parking spot. (oh yeah, matt still hdn't told me where we were going yet. cute? irritating) ha. well. we began circling the block and i began guessing restuarants outloud. after a number of bars, bistros, auto dealerships, and a women's health center, i nabbed it; the speghetti factory. we park at a pay-to-park lot, cross the road, and walk in. in the heat of the dinnertime rush, the place is partially crawling with people. too bad we aren't 21, the bar was empty and inviting. well anyways the wait was only 10-15 minutes and so, we waited.



there weren't any seats, so at first matt and i stood awkwardly among the throng of bodies, but after groups of 8 were called back to be seated, seats were open. i for one though prefer to lean, and so i did, i lurked about the doorway much to matt's.... i don;t know. he kept seeing if i wanted to sit down. he sat down, i remained standing. i figured we'd be sitting a while anyways... so it didn't matter. he kept looking at me inquisitively, wondering why i wouldn't sit and also he said that phrase again "i want to know more about you" blast. this time i just let it roll on the floor and i lazily talked of other things. i also explained that i was in a very chill mood. we were eventually led back to some comfy looking old fashioned chairs (at a table) a harassed looking waitress came and took our orders for drinks, and we settled down and tried to decide what to get. immediately i was attracted to the salmon dish.... but it was 13.50 and i'd feel bad if i made him spend a ton. so- i got spaghetti with meat sauce because i figured you can't go wrong there eh?

anyways. our salads came, and we talked so much we weren't done with them by the time our meals came. we also got a small loaf of bread... very tasty. so anyways our conversation was pleasant. neutral. pleasant. very much like two friends having a chill dinner together... minus the undertones of "i really enjoy hanging out with you" so anyways. dinner was over and we walked back to the car. it had snowed while we were in dinner. (boo!!!) and we sat in the car waiting while thigns defrosted (car- wise) matt had planned that we might walk about down by the river, but due to the slush and wind it wouldn't have been very fun. so we drove back to whitworth and decided to go watch an episode or two of lost in my room.

we get to whitworth and after changing clothes (i decided to remain in my cofy cozy skirt and such. come now.... getting dressed up for 2 hours? no. that's silly.) oh anyways. so with me settled comfortably with his arm around me, we slouched there on the couch watching lost. at the "commercial breaks" i would lean forward to press the "press to continue" button.... and though it felt good it was partially awkward because matt would rub my back... but then i of course was not going to remain slouched there... oh anyways. we cuddled, we watched lost. it was nice. it was getting late (i had stayed up until 4 the previous night) and i was tired (it was bout 11:30) so i basically kicked him out.... saying i was tired and was going to do some reading (homework) and then go to bed. he lingered.... a LOT. even after a nice good bye hug. so i said, "you can stay if you want..." which kind of meant why are you still here? but anyways. i go to take my contacts out and he is still in the room. i offer him a book to read, he declines, and so we sit on the couch. me reading my book for CORE, and he is.... sitting. why? i have no idea. i thought it was weird. partially awkward as well. fortunately he eventually realized how silly/ dumb his still being there was... and he said "you're not going to get any reading done while i'm still here" (i thought to myself... i already have gotten some reading done) so we have an awkward "which-way-does-my-face-go" hug and he left. gracious.

so ends the darling night of the 15th of february, my first date ever, with mr matt deering. overall.... very chill. perhaps a post venting more of my post- thoughts later.....